My farts have been smelling a lot like whale recently.

How would I know what whale smells like you ask? Good question. It's because I have become the only guy I know to have eaten whale. And let me tell you, good reader, that there is a good reason that whales are an endangered species, THEY ARE DELICIOUS!

I went to a japanese style bar the other night with my co-workers and what did I find on the plate in front of me but none other than stir-fried whale meat. It was like the juiciest, most succulent beef I'd ever dreamed of. Let's just say that it was much more tasty than the bio-luminescent squid I ate at the same place.
Aside from Native Americans, Norwegians and the Japanese, the world has put a moratorium on the consumption of cetacians and so I am one of the privelaged few to actually eat this delicious endangered beast. While I don't know the exact species I devoured hungrily, I do know that it was by far the biggest animal I've ever taken part in the consumption of. Bigger than a cow, bigger than a horse, bigger than a yak and yes, bigger than an elephant (though I've never sampled elephant).

What's next on the list, I dare not guess.